:)

Yeah, so if you read my blog from last night maybe you noticed I was a little upset. Well I was, haha. But man God is so good.

Today I went on a field trip to the pumpkin patch with my kindergarten class :) They are SO adorable. (If you didn't know, everyday I go to a kindergarten class and help the teacher.. they call me Miss Monique.. and umm I LOVE them.) Before I go on, lets talk about their teacher.

Dang, she is amaaaazing. Like, the BEST teacher out there. She L.O.V.E.S her job. x73491837129. You can feel her energy everyday, and she always has a smile on her face! :) I'm really excited to just get to know her more and show her love through my words and actions.

So when we got there I started talking to one of the 1st graders' mom. She is a brand new single mom.. only 34.. and has 3 kids. She was asking me about life and stuff and we got to talk a bit.. but I could pretty much SEE the brokenness in her eyes. She was so hurt. She ended up asking me for my number so I could babysit her kids sometime :) God is awesome :) I am praying that even my relationship with this lady will be purposeful and that God will be glorified through me.

Anyway.. in reference to my blog last night.. i'm a loser. Did God use me today? Yes. Was I able to love people more? Yes. Was I anxious about anything? Nope.

He is so good. And although I am still learning a lot about Him, I need to remind myself that I am still a daughter of the King and He still intends to use me for His purposes. and that brings me so much joy. way beyond comprehension :) <3>

life.

I am not understanding it right now.

haha.

and I currently suck at it. um actually i need to stop saying that because I always suck at it.

I don't know how to I'm ever gonna have more faith. I don't know how to love God. I don't know how I'm ever gonna be used by God. I don't know how I'm ever gonna be able to SERIOUSLY love people. I don't know when ill stop being selfish. I dont know when ill stop feeling anxious. i dont know when ill be able to figure out certain things.

Im desperate. and I dont know what I want, or what i'm looking for. It's honestly very frustrating. I guess its safe to say I'm stuck. and its lame.

haha. yea so theres the update on MY life. hopefully next blog i'll be way more encouraging and actually maybe sorta have an answer and mention God a LOT more because its all about Him and not me. And I just made this whole blog about me.

perfect.

speechless

this week, as you can see maybe, wasn't the best.

quick update of where i'm at; im working on my faith right now. i don't have enough of it. once i do, i know things will get better. i really AM sad and confused.. but I know everything has happened for a reason. God's growing me through this. I just know it. Keep me in your prayers :)

i

am empty.

broken.

confused.